I’m sad.

Sadness

I've been immersed in a sea of emotions, navigating the waves of sadness for about a week now as I pen down this blog.

In the midst of one of the most challenging experiences I've faced in a while, I find myself on the verge of tears, reflecting on the elusive connection I had hoped to manifest. Moments slip away as I ponder what could have been and why it diverged from the vision in my mind. Balancing the demands of my business, especially promoting the Beginners Yoga Course, has become a Herculean task, and a genuine smile has eluded me throughout this week. 

AH NP, @ahnp

After a day that started with bidding farewell to a dear friend's mother at a somber funeral and then accompanying my own mother to the hospital for a procedure, I poured out my feelings on social media. By the time I reached the sanctuary of home that evening, I felt a deep sense of depletion and deflation. 

A thought whispered to share non-smiling photos on social media, captioned with a simple "I'm sad." What ensued was quite intriguing. Friends flooded in with calls, texts, and messages, all echoing the well-meaning chorus of "Don't be sad" or offering solutions to fix what ailed me.

Yet, here's the wisdom I've come to embrace — it's okay to be sad. It's a human emotion, a gentle rain that nourishes the soul. And much like nature, sometimes it unfolds at its own pace, refusing to be hurried. It’s an adjustment to changes in one’s life. 

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Breaking it down to the basics, sadness is like a gentle rain of sorrow, a feeling that paints the heart with shades of unhappiness. The key here is that it's a feeling, a passing cloud in the emotional sky. 

It's crucial to distinguish it from the more persistent weather pattern of depression. Depression, often associated with a mood disorder, is like a lingering storm, affecting the overall climate of one's mental landscape.

Ah, the cosmic synchronicity of wisdom! My cousin, Janet, delivered a digital bouquet in the form of a link to Oprah's Super Soul podcast. Dr. Anita Phillips, a trauma therapist and life coach, illuminated the landscape of feelings and thoughts.

In her melodic explanation, she painted sadness as a yearning for connection, a dance between the heart and unfulfilled hopes. When those expectations meet the unexpected, we feel the gentle rain of sadness, a nourishing shower that touches the garden of our emotions. 

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As I dive into the contemplative pool of sadness, I discern a dance with disconnection echoing through various realms:

• Relational Ripples - A yearning to harmonize with someone, be it in friendship, romance, or family ties. Yet, the notes don't align, creating a poignant melody of unmet desires. Relationships, whether severed by death, divorce, or abandonment, leave echoes of the connection we hoped for. 

• Occupational Odyssey - A hopeful journey through the professional landscape, seeking a new position or a step up the career ladder. Yet, despite the interviews, inquiries, and dedicated duties, the coveted promotion or job offer remains elusive. It's the occupational waltz where the steps don't lead to the desired destination. 

• Business Ballet - A choreography of aspirations in the business realm, envisioning vibrant connections with clients for events or services. However, the engagement numbers become a different dance altogether, not in tune with the planned symphony. It's a business ballad where the expected turnout takes an unexpected turn. 

In this intricate dance of life, the common thread is the ache of unfulfilled connection, each twirl and pirouette resonating with the pangs of expectation. Yet, amidst the dance, there's an opportunity for a new rhythm to emerge. 

Navigating sadness becomes a journey of connection, whether it's in the relational sea, the career currents, or the business waves. The connection may shift, but there's always a new horizon.

How heartwarming it is to feel the embrace of gratitude blooming in the garden of shared emotions! It's like your vulnerability became a permission slip, granting others the freedom to authentically explore the landscape of their feelings.

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Now, let's sprinkle in some sunshine tips to illuminate the path:

• Gratitude as your compass: Share it daily, and let it be the North Star guiding you through the clouds.

• Harbor in supportive havens: Connect with friends who can weather the storm with you.

• Conversations with the universe: Pray, listen, meditate. Sometimes, the best advice comes from the cosmic whispers.

• Dance in the rain of movement: Whether it's yoga or a simple stroll, let your body sway to the rhythm of healing.

• Ink the journey: Free-write in a journal, creating a diary of your emotions, a map of your heart.

• Literary lanterns: Read books that illuminate new perspectives, shedding light on the path forward.

• Laughter as medicine: Watch something funny; let the giggles be the rays that pierce the clouds.

• Melodies of the heart: Tune in to music that lifts your spirits, a melody that becomes your anchor.

And for those seeking a port in the storm, your Awakened Woman community is a lighthouse, a beacon of connection. 

Understanding Procrastination: How to Overcome It

Nubelson Fernandes

@nublson

Procrastination is like the cozy couch in the corner of your mind, inviting you to lounge and watch the world go by.

We often perceive it as a character flaw or a lack of discipline, but there's more to this habit than meets the eye. In this blog post, we'll delve into the alluring world of procrastination, guided by renowned motivational speaker Mel Robbins and her unique insights. We'll explore the tangled web of avoidance, the instant gratification trap, and the long-term consequences. But most importantly, we'll uncover the keys to escape this comforting yet stifling corner of our minds.

The Procrastination Paradox:

Picture procrastination as a cozy nest you've built in the tree of life. It's not about avoiding work or tasks; it's about avoiding stress. When we procrastinate, we're like birds seeking shelter from the stress or anxiety associated with a particular task. In the short term, this nest offers a sense of comfort, a refuge from the worries. But like a heavy rainstorm, it often leads to even more significant stress as deadlines loom and the nest begins to leak.

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Instant Gratification Trap:

averie woodard

@averieclaire

Imagine procrastination as a mirage in the desert of your daily life. Faced with the arid challenge of a daunting task, we stumble upon the oasis of instant gratification. It appears like a shimmering pool, offering respite from the scorching heat of our worries. Social media, streaming, and snacks become our refreshing sips of cool water. They release feel-good chemicals in our brains, temporarily quenching the thirst for comfort and relief.

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Long-Term Consequences:

The oasis of procrastination provides temporary relief, but it's a mirage that vanishes as we get closer. The stressor doesn't disappear; it accumulates like grains of sand piling up around us. As the deadline approaches or the task becomes more pressing, the mirage dissipates, revealing the harsh reality. The stress intensifies, causing even more anxiety. This, in turn, reinforces the habit of procrastination.

Breaking the Cycle:

To escape the desert of procrastination, you need a map and a compass. Understanding procrastination as a stress-avoidance mechanism is the first step in navigating this challenging terrain. To break free from the mirage and find your way to the genuine oasis of productivity, consider the following strategies:

1. Recognize Triggers: Identify the specific stressors or sources of anxiety that lead to procrastination. Like a seasoned explorer, become aware of the quicksand that pulls you in.

2. Mindful Coping: Engage in mindful coping strategies that don't involve avoidance. Think of them as your trusty canteen in the desert. Techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or short walks can help manage stress effectively.

3. Task Chunking: Divide the daunting task into smaller, manageable chunks, much like breaking a boulder into pebbles. This makes the work less overwhelming and reduces the immediate stress associated with it.

4. Set Realistic Goals: Instead of chasing mirages, set achievable goals and deadlines. Like a caravan, move steadily toward the real oasis, guided by a clear map.

5. Accountability: Share your goals and deadlines with someone who can hold you accountable. It's like having a fellow explorer to share the journey and make sure you both stay on course.

6. Focus on the Long-Term: Remind yourself of the lush oasis in the distance. The long-term benefits of completing the task often outweigh the temporary stress of confronting it. The journey is challenging, but the destination is worth it.

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Like explorers in the vast desert of life, we can choose to leave the mirage of procrastination behind. Mel Robbins' insights on procrastination as a stress-avoidance mechanism offer a more compassionate view of this behavior. By recognizing it as a response to stress and implementing effective stress management strategies, individuals can take proactive steps to break free from the mirage of procrastination and improve their overall well-being.

Click here to read Mel Robbins' article for more insights on overcoming procrastination.

Feel free to review and let me know if you'd like any further adjustments or additional allegorical elements and illustrations.

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Get a FREE copy of my Time Study Worksheet to help you through times of procrastination with more grace and ease.

Lost and Found in 2020

I began 2020 with an idea I called “2020 Equals 40 Events.” 

I like themes.  To me, they make life feel more fun. 

One year I wore yellow every day for an entire summer and called it “My Yellow Summer.” It even came to the point that my phone would buzz periodically with notifications from friends all over who had taken photos of themselves in yellow. I smiled as I saw the #MyYellowSummer hashtag show up under their beautiful photos.

I didn’t know about chakras back then and how yellow is the color of the solar plexus and one’s internal power. At the time, I had recently divorced, and my self-esteem was extremely low. In the early stages of “My Yellow Summer”, I found myself frequently visiting my daughter in Washington, DC.

Intrinsically, I felt called to paint my nails yellow...and really that was what started it all. Something in me felt empowered that day-more than I had in a long time. The yellow tones of that summer gave me hope for the future and to close the summer out, I had a party and invited my friends to wear yellow to celebrate with me. 

I started this new chapter by going to museum exhibits, lectures, concerts, and movie premieres. I wanted to showcase our city and encourage women to learn to have fun on their own. 

...And then COVID happened. I was already uneasy because of the loss of income from resigning in the fall of 2019. My yoga studio was seeing fewer numbers from when I first opened in Fall 2018. However, there was a small light at the end of the tunnel. I was looking forward to hosting my first cohort of yoga teacher trainees. Money was tight...extremely tight. I found myself stewing in my nerves and anxiety. I found myself questioning if I had made the right decision to quit my job. On Friday, March 13, 2020, I sat in my office and let myself fall apart and cry. 

Dawn M. Rivers, Lost and Found in 2020

The state of Ohio started closing down businesses and putting in orders for people to stay at home. I decided to close the studio temporarily before the mandate came from the state. I had no idea what I was going to do. I had not planned for this. 

That morning, I sent an email out to the Daybreak Yoga community saying we were closing, and that I would be online with classes starting Tuesday, March 17th. Up until that time, I was already down one teacher and was teaching 70% of our classes in-studio without the extra support. Facing reality, I realized I would be teaching 100% of them online. Eventually, one of my two teachers agreed to teach online from her home.

Teaching Online

Stressed is an understatement. I didn’t know what I was doing or really how to teach yoga online. It was hard to envision the future. Hard to see my way through let alone out.

Daybreak Yoga is in a working-class neighborhood of Bedford, Ohio, where yoga is known as “stretching exercise”. But, my purpose in choosing this location was to bring healing practices to those who needed it most. I was passionate about sharing what I learned with others to help them heal and grow. With the pandemic, it felt as though I lost all of that. I was breaking down. Fear was living with me every day. Sleep evaded me. Doubt had me shackled to failure.

Friends, teachers, and relationships were lost because of this pandemic. 

Income, resources, and hope were lost because of this pandemic.

Lives, livelihoods, and love were lost because of this pandemic.

Then the Black Lives Matter Movement exploded with the death of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. People all over the world noticed the injustices in America. I was asked to share my opinion, be an ambassador, collaborate with other yoga teachers, and folks wanted to support black-owned businesses. My business. 

I was awarded three scholarships this pandemic: advance yoga teacher training, meditation training, best practices for yoga teachers. I connected with the yoga community again but as a student. I learned new ways to meditate. I started to move my body again under the instruction of an international yoga who I admire. I was reminded of my own story of why I came to yoga in the first place. It saved my life, again. 

I found hope again. 

I found my way out.

I found new community.

I remembered my purpose.

I remembered my smile. 

I remembered hope. 

This pandemic has been relentless, and it has shown me that I am resilient. My community has expanded. My resources have, too. What I learn, I share. That has always been my goal as a yoga teacher, a wellness practitioner. 

Originally written for Scare Your Soul’s Lost and Found in 2020 Challenge.

Additional resource:

How to Support Black Lives Matter Online