Beyoncé, a Broken Toe, and Gaslighting
I didn’t think women could gaslight other women—until it happened to me.
And when it did, I questioned everything.
My memory.
My details.
My truth.
I had a broken toe, a ticket to see Beyoncé, and a friend who left me alone at Soldier Field. When I told her how much that hurt, she didn’t apologize.
She gaslit me instead.
This story isn’t just about friendship gone wrong—it’s about boundaries, betrayal, and becoming the woman who refuses to abandon herself.
I didn’t think women could gaslight other women—until it happened to me.
And when it did, I questioned everything.
My memory.
My details.
My truth.
I knew I asked her to stay with me until the wheelchair pusher came after the show. But when I brought it up, she spun the story so hard I started doubting myself.
But let’s rewind. First, what is gaslighting?
Gaslighting Explained
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone causes another person to doubt their memory, perception, or sanity. Over time, it can make the victim question their entire reality.
The term comes from the 1938 play Gas Light, where a husband slowly drives his wife insane by dimming the gas lights in their home—then denying it ever happened.
Back to the Story
I had tickets to see Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter tour in Chicago. My friend and I had done this same trip from Cleveland before for the Renaissance Tour. The plan was simple: she’d drive, I’d cover tolls.
But when I kept asking about the details—when we’d leave, where she was staying—things got vague. She mentioned bringing her pets and said she’d be staying with another friend instead of with me and my family.
The more I asked, the more it felt like pulling teeth. I still didn’t know when we were leaving, and my cousin kept asking so she could plan her schedule too.
Eventually, I told her I’d fly out Friday. She hadn’t finalized anything, and I wanted to spend time with my family. She said that was fine—actually, she seemed relieved. Said she didn’t want to make me uncomfortable and that now she could stay longer.
Then I broke my toe.
I had just arrived at my stepmother’s house. I turned off the light, went to settle in the room I always stay in, and bam—smashed my toe on the couch leg.
When I turned the light back on, I saw my third toe bent unnaturally away from the others. My cousin helped me tape it up. My stepbrother offered to take me to the ER, but I waited for urgent care the next morning.
I texted my friend early to check in—she said she’d leave late morning. But then… no follow-up. Eventually, she told me she was leaving Saturday. That still worked, since the concert was Sunday night.
But here’s the kicker: when she finally told me where she was staying, I realized it was 90 minutes north of where I was. She had known this the whole time and didn’t tell me.
How were we supposed to meet up for a show downtown?
She arrived early Sunday—as in just after midnight. She had invited another friend to join us too, so I texted the group: “Hey, my toe is broken. Can you meet me at the gate and walk me to our seats on level 3?”
They didn’t.
Not the way you’d think.
My chaotic journey to the show
My stepbrother lent me boots that didn’t press on my toe. He and my cousin drove me downtown. Normally a 30-minute drive, but traffic was insane.
We missed our drop-off. A rickshaw pulled up. They encouraged me to take it. I paid $20 and it dropped me at a police barricade—still 15–20 minutes from the stadium.
An officer suggested I try a scooter. I got one, but it wouldn’t kick in fully (my first time with this brand). So, with a broken toe, I pushed myself down a hill, under an overpass, past the Field Museum—finally reaching Soldier Field.
The app wouldn’t let me park.
Turns out I was in a no-parking zone.
I had to go all the way back. Down the hill. Under the overpass. Beyoncé started singing. Still no text from my friend.
I hobbled back. Got a wheelchair. Finally reached our section. At some point, she finally texted, “Where are you?”
I tried to let it go and enjoy the show. I even told them bits of what happened. And when it ended, I asked—again—“Please stay with me until I get the wheelchair.”
We took a few photos. Chatted.
Then her friend’s sister texted that she had arrived to pick them up—and they left.
Yes.
They left me.
Security told me I couldn’t stay where I was. I needed to move. I explained I was waiting for a wheelchair. My phone was blowing up from my family, trying to coordinate pickup—but I had no answers.
About 30 minutes later, the wheelchair came. They rolled me to the edge of the stadium grounds.
I hobbled back under that overpass again to meet my family.
Processing the pain
Later, I told my friend I was hurt and disappointed. That it felt like she picked someone else over me. That I felt abandoned.
That’s when the gaslighting began.
She flipped the script.
Said I hadn’t told her what I needed.
Said she chose herself that night.
Said I wasn’t being a good friend.
I reminded her: I had asked clearly. I had forgiven her—multiple times.
Her response?
She sent me a link to Soldier Field’s ADA accommodations and asked why I didn’t request help.
Ma’am.
I go hard for my friends.
My birth chart confirms what I already know: I’m loyal. I’m generous. I’m there.
But in that moment, I realized something: she was projecting. She felt guilty. I named it. Her response? She told me I was the one feeling guilty.
That’s when I knew:
The friendship was done.
Energetic Fractures & Emotional Truth
Bioenergetics says the fracture happens in your energy field before it happens in real life. Dr. Sue Morter writes in The Energy Codes that those who constantly serve others—and never allow themselves to receive—will eventually “fracture” so they can learn to receive love.
That hit deep.
I don’t do passive-aggressive.
I can’t stand liars.
And I don’t tolerate manipulation.
Thirty minutes of circular talk was enough. I ended the convo with: “I love you.”
She responded with a long text—no apology.
I replied: “I forgive you. We need space.”
She responded with more shots.
So I talked to my best friend. Asked her if she saw anything in me I needed to change. Her answer?
“I rebuke that! It’s not you. Study your birth chart.”
So I did.
And let me tell you—learning about myself like this?
It’s been refreshing and rewarding.
What I’ve Learned
Stand your ground with kindness
Keep firm boundaries
Don’t argue or go back and forth
Know when you’re being gaslit
Mourn the loss of the friendship
Practice self-study
Recommended Resource
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Journaling, affirmations & more
I’m sad.
I’m sad and it’s okay. It’s a part of the human experience. I’m not going to rush it. I’m not going to pretend. I’m not going to use toxic happiness to cover it.
Sadness
I've been immersed in a sea of emotions, navigating the waves of sadness for about a week now as I pen down this blog.
In the midst of one of the most challenging experiences I've faced in a while, I find myself on the verge of tears, reflecting on the elusive connection I had hoped to manifest. Moments slip away as I ponder what could have been and why it diverged from the vision in my mind. Balancing the demands of my business, especially promoting the Beginners Yoga Course, has become a Herculean task, and a genuine smile has eluded me throughout this week.
After a day that started with bidding farewell to a dear friend's mother at a somber funeral and then accompanying my own mother to the hospital for a procedure, I poured out my feelings on social media. By the time I reached the sanctuary of home that evening, I felt a deep sense of depletion and deflation.
A thought whispered to share non-smiling photos on social media, captioned with a simple "I'm sad." What ensued was quite intriguing. Friends flooded in with calls, texts, and messages, all echoing the well-meaning chorus of "Don't be sad" or offering solutions to fix what ailed me.
Yet, here's the wisdom I've come to embrace — it's okay to be sad. It's a human emotion, a gentle rain that nourishes the soul. And much like nature, sometimes it unfolds at its own pace, refusing to be hurried. It’s an adjustment to changes in one’s life.
Breaking it down to the basics, sadness is like a gentle rain of sorrow, a feeling that paints the heart with shades of unhappiness. The key here is that it's a feeling, a passing cloud in the emotional sky.
It's crucial to distinguish it from the more persistent weather pattern of depression. Depression, often associated with a mood disorder, is like a lingering storm, affecting the overall climate of one's mental landscape.
Ah, the cosmic synchronicity of wisdom! My cousin, Janet, delivered a digital bouquet in the form of a link to Oprah's Super Soul podcast. Dr. Anita Phillips, a trauma therapist and life coach, illuminated the landscape of feelings and thoughts.
In her melodic explanation, she painted sadness as a yearning for connection, a dance between the heart and unfulfilled hopes. When those expectations meet the unexpected, we feel the gentle rain of sadness, a nourishing shower that touches the garden of our emotions.
As I dive into the contemplative pool of sadness, I discern a dance with disconnection echoing through various realms:
Relational Ripples - A yearning to harmonize with someone, be it in friendship, romance, or family ties. Yet, the notes don't align, creating a poignant melody of unmet desires. Relationships, whether severed by death, divorce, or abandonment, leave echoes of the connection we hoped for.
Occupational Odyssey - A hopeful journey through the professional landscape, seeking a new position or a step up the career ladder. Yet, despite the interviews, inquiries, and dedicated duties, the coveted promotion or job offer remains elusive. It's the occupational waltz where the steps don't lead to the desired destination.
Business Ballet - A choreography of aspirations in the business realm, envisioning vibrant connections with clients for events or services. However, the engagement numbers become a different dance altogether, not in tune with the planned symphony. It's a business ballad where the expected turnout takes an unexpected turn.
In this intricate dance of life, the common thread is the ache of unfulfilled connection, each twirl and pirouette resonating with the pangs of expectation. Yet, amidst the dance, there's an opportunity for a new rhythm to emerge.
Navigating sadness becomes a journey of connection, whether it's in the relational sea, the career currents, or the business waves. The connection may shift, but there's always a new horizon.
How heartwarming it is to feel the embrace of gratitude blooming in the garden of shared emotions! It's like your vulnerability became a permission slip, granting others the freedom to authentically explore the landscape of their feelings.
Now, let's sprinkle in some sunshine tips to illuminate the path:
Gratitude as your compass: Share it daily, and let it be the North Star guiding you through the clouds.
Harbor in supportive havens: Connect with friends who can weather the storm with you.
Conversations with the universe: Pray, listen, meditate. Sometimes, the best advice comes from the cosmic whispers.
Dance in the rain of movement: Whether it's yoga or a simple stroll, let your body sway to the rhythm of healing.
Ink the journey: Free-write in a journal, creating a diary of your emotions, a map of your heart.
Literary lanterns: Read books that illuminate new perspectives, shedding light on the path forward.
Laughter as medicine: Watch something funny; let the giggles be the rays that pierce the clouds.
Melodies of the heart: Tune in to music that lifts your spirits, a melody that becomes your anchor.
And for those seeking a port in the storm, your Awakened Woman community is a lighthouse, a beacon of connection.
The Emotional Toll of Educator Burnout: Understanding the Impact on Teachers and Education Professionals
Educator burnout is a pressing issue that demands attention and action. The emotional consequences associated with burnout can deeply affect teachers and other education professionals, impacting not only their personal lives but also the quality of education they provide to students.
Education is the cornerstone of any society, and teachers play a critical role in shaping the future of our world. However, the demanding nature of the teaching profession can lead to a phenomenon known as educator burnout. This deeply concerning issue affects countless teachers and education professionals in the United States, with far-reaching consequences for their emotional well-being.
In this blog, we will explore some common emotional consequences associated with educator burnout and emphasize the importance of proactive measures to address this issue.
Emotional Exhaustion
One of the hallmark signs of educator burnout is emotional exhaustion. The demands placed upon teachers can be immense, ranging from managing classrooms and preparing lessons to addressing individual student needs and engaging with parents. The relentless nature of these responsibilities can leave educators feeling emotionally drained and depleted. As a result, they may experience constant fatigue, reduced motivation, and an inability to handle stress effectively.
Increased Irritability and Frustration
Burnout can also manifest in increased irritability and frustration. The mounting pressures and challenges teachers face can overwhelm them, leading to heightened impatience and a shorter temper. Unfortunately, this emotional state can spill over into interactions with students, colleagues, and loved ones, negatively affecting work and personal relationships.
Decreased Emotional Resilience
Emotional resilience refers to one's ability to cope with adversity and bounce back from challenging situations. However, burnout can erode an educator's emotional resilience, making it harder for them to manage stressors effectively. The toll of burnout can leave teachers feeling emotionally vulnerable, hindering their ability to rebound from setbacks and navigate difficult circumstances.
Feelings of Detachment and Cynicism
Educators grappling with burnout may develop feelings of detachment and cynicism toward their work, students, or the education system. The sense of overwhelm, lack of recognition, or inadequate support can lead to disengagement from their passion for teaching. This emotional distancing can impact job satisfaction, resulting in a decreased sense of purpose and enthusiasm for their chosen career path.
Anxiety and Depression
Prolonged exposure to burnout can significantly impact an educator's mental well-being, leading to anxiety and depression symptoms. Persistent feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, or sadness can take a toll on their emotional health and overall quality of life. Left unaddressed, these conditions can severely impair a teacher's ability to perform their duties and contribute to the educational system effectively.
Reduced Job Satisfaction and Engagement
Perhaps the most concerning emotional consequence of burnout is the reduction in job satisfaction and engagement. A profession that once brought joy and fulfillment can become a source of dissatisfaction and disillusionment. Teachers may question their career choice and feel disconnected from their professional goals.
Addressing Educator Burnout
To safeguard the well-being of teachers and education professionals, it is crucial to address burnout proactively. Educational institutions and policymakers must implement supportive strategies and foster positive work environments prioritizing teacher mental health. Here are some steps that can be taken:
Dawn M. Rivers of DMR Coaching & Consulting
Implement Support Programs: Schools should provide access to counseling services, peer support groups, and workshops focused on stress management and self-care.
Foster a Positive Work Culture: Cultivate an atmosphere of appreciation and recognition where teachers feel valued and supported in their roles.
Encourage Work-Life Balance: Promote work-life balance by setting reasonable expectations and encouraging teachers to take breaks and vacations.
Prioritize Professional Development: Offer opportunities for teachers to enhance their skills and knowledge, reducing feelings of stagnation and increasing engagement.
Provide Resources for Self-Care: Educators should be encouraged to prioritize their physical and mental well-being through resources such as exercise programs, meditation sessions, and stress reduction techniques.
Educator burnout is a pressing issue that demands attention and action. The emotional consequences associated with burnout can deeply affect teachers and other education professionals, impacting their personal lives and the quality of education they provide to students.
Recognizing the signs of burnout and implementing proactive measures to support teachers can ensure a healthier and more fulfilling educational environment for everyone involved. As a society, we must stand together to support our educators, who play a vital role in shaping the future generations of our world.