Beyoncé, a Broken Toe, and Gaslighting
I didn’t think women could gaslight other women—until it happened to me.
And when it did, I questioned everything.
My memory.
My details.
My truth.
I had a broken toe, a ticket to see Beyoncé, and a friend who left me alone at Soldier Field. When I told her how much that hurt, she didn’t apologize.
She gaslit me instead.
This story isn’t just about friendship gone wrong—it’s about boundaries, betrayal, and becoming the woman who refuses to abandon herself.
I didn’t think women could gaslight other women—until it happened to me.
And when it did, I questioned everything.
My memory.
My details.
My truth.
I knew I asked her to stay with me until the wheelchair pusher came after the show. But when I brought it up, she spun the story so hard I started doubting myself.
But let’s rewind. First, what is gaslighting?
Gaslighting Explained
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone causes another person to doubt their memory, perception, or sanity. Over time, it can make the victim question their entire reality.
The term comes from the 1938 play Gas Light, where a husband slowly drives his wife insane by dimming the gas lights in their home—then denying it ever happened.
Back to the Story
I had tickets to see Beyoncé’s Cowboy Carter tour in Chicago. My friend and I had done this same trip from Cleveland before for the Renaissance Tour. The plan was simple: she’d drive, I’d cover tolls.
But when I kept asking about the details—when we’d leave, where she was staying—things got vague. She mentioned bringing her pets and said she’d be staying with another friend instead of with me and my family.
The more I asked, the more it felt like pulling teeth. I still didn’t know when we were leaving, and my cousin kept asking so she could plan her schedule too.
Eventually, I told her I’d fly out Friday. She hadn’t finalized anything, and I wanted to spend time with my family. She said that was fine—actually, she seemed relieved. Said she didn’t want to make me uncomfortable and that now she could stay longer.
Then I broke my toe.
I had just arrived at my stepmother’s house. I turned off the light, went to settle in the room I always stay in, and bam—smashed my toe on the couch leg.
When I turned the light back on, I saw my third toe bent unnaturally away from the others. My cousin helped me tape it up. My stepbrother offered to take me to the ER, but I waited for urgent care the next morning.
I texted my friend early to check in—she said she’d leave late morning. But then… no follow-up. Eventually, she told me she was leaving Saturday. That still worked, since the concert was Sunday night.
But here’s the kicker: when she finally told me where she was staying, I realized it was 90 minutes north of where I was. She had known this the whole time and didn’t tell me.
How were we supposed to meet up for a show downtown?
She arrived early Sunday—as in just after midnight. She had invited another friend to join us too, so I texted the group: “Hey, my toe is broken. Can you meet me at the gate and walk me to our seats on level 3?”
They didn’t.
Not the way you’d think.
My chaotic journey to the show
My stepbrother lent me boots that didn’t press on my toe. He and my cousin drove me downtown. Normally a 30-minute drive, but traffic was insane.
We missed our drop-off. A rickshaw pulled up. They encouraged me to take it. I paid $20 and it dropped me at a police barricade—still 15–20 minutes from the stadium.
An officer suggested I try a scooter. I got one, but it wouldn’t kick in fully (my first time with this brand). So, with a broken toe, I pushed myself down a hill, under an overpass, past the Field Museum—finally reaching Soldier Field.
The app wouldn’t let me park.
Turns out I was in a no-parking zone.
I had to go all the way back. Down the hill. Under the overpass. Beyoncé started singing. Still no text from my friend.
I hobbled back. Got a wheelchair. Finally reached our section. At some point, she finally texted, “Where are you?”
I tried to let it go and enjoy the show. I even told them bits of what happened. And when it ended, I asked—again—“Please stay with me until I get the wheelchair.”
We took a few photos. Chatted.
Then her friend’s sister texted that she had arrived to pick them up—and they left.
Yes.
They left me.
Security told me I couldn’t stay where I was. I needed to move. I explained I was waiting for a wheelchair. My phone was blowing up from my family, trying to coordinate pickup—but I had no answers.
About 30 minutes later, the wheelchair came. They rolled me to the edge of the stadium grounds.
I hobbled back under that overpass again to meet my family.
Processing the pain
Later, I told my friend I was hurt and disappointed. That it felt like she picked someone else over me. That I felt abandoned.
That’s when the gaslighting began.
She flipped the script.
Said I hadn’t told her what I needed.
Said she chose herself that night.
Said I wasn’t being a good friend.
I reminded her: I had asked clearly. I had forgiven her—multiple times.
Her response?
She sent me a link to Soldier Field’s ADA accommodations and asked why I didn’t request help.
Ma’am.
I go hard for my friends.
My birth chart confirms what I already know: I’m loyal. I’m generous. I’m there.
But in that moment, I realized something: she was projecting. She felt guilty. I named it. Her response? She told me I was the one feeling guilty.
That’s when I knew:
The friendship was done.
Energetic Fractures & Emotional Truth
Bioenergetics says the fracture happens in your energy field before it happens in real life. Dr. Sue Morter writes in The Energy Codes that those who constantly serve others—and never allow themselves to receive—will eventually “fracture” so they can learn to receive love.
That hit deep.
I don’t do passive-aggressive.
I can’t stand liars.
And I don’t tolerate manipulation.
Thirty minutes of circular talk was enough. I ended the convo with: “I love you.”
She responded with a long text—no apology.
I replied: “I forgive you. We need space.”
She responded with more shots.
So I talked to my best friend. Asked her if she saw anything in me I needed to change. Her answer?
“I rebuke that! It’s not you. Study your birth chart.”
So I did.
And let me tell you—learning about myself like this?
It’s been refreshing and rewarding.
What I’ve Learned
Stand your ground with kindness
Keep firm boundaries
Don’t argue or go back and forth
Know when you’re being gaslit
Mourn the loss of the friendship
Practice self-study
Recommended Resource
Self-Love eBook & Workbook
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Awakening: A Journey of Self-Discovery with Aaliyah
Discover the power of self-discovery and transformation with Aaliyah's journey in 'Awakening.' Explore holistic living, genuine connections, and building a purposeful legacy in this inspiring blog.
In the heart of a bustling city, amidst the noise and chaos of everyday life, there lived Aaliyah, a woman with a spark of curiosity and a hunger for something more. She navigated through her days with grace, yet beneath her calm exterior, a longing stirred—a desire for deeper meaning, purpose, and connection.
One evening, as she scrolled through her inbox, a message caught her eye: "Life, Learning, Legacy: A Journey Within." The words danced before her, promising a transformative odyssey where the threads of existence intertwined to create a tapestry of profound joy. Aaliyah felt a tug at her soul, a whisper of possibility calling her to join this journey of self-discovery.
On the appointed day, Aaliyah logged onto Zoom for the workshop, surrounded by kindred spirits appearing on her screen, each seeking their own path to fulfillment. As the session unfolded, she immersed herself in the exploration of Life, Learning, and Legacy, each pillar revealing new insights and revelations.
Through the Life Pillar, Aaliyah learned the art of harmonious living, nurturing peaceful relationships with Ahimsa and embracing joy in every moment with Santosha. She discovered the power of self-understanding through Svadhyaya, aligning her actions with her authentic self and igniting a sense of inner peace she had longed for.
In the Learning Pillar, Aaliyah honed her communication skills with Satya, fostering genuine connections that enriched her learning journey. With Brahmacharya's guidance, she found balance, optimizing her growth without succumbing to overwhelm, ensuring a steady and mindful progression towards her goals.
As the workshop delved into the Legacy Pillar, Aaliyah felt a sense of empowerment wash over her. She learned to build disciplined structures for success with Tapas, leaving a trail of organized achievements for others to follow. With Saucha, she crafted inspiring environments, setting the stage for optimal productivity and creativity. And through Asteya, she embraced ethical decision-making, leaving behind a legacy imprinted with values and integrity.
But perhaps the most profound benefit Aaliyah experienced was the sense of community that enveloped her throughout the workshop. Surrounded by fellow seekers, she found support, inspiration, and camaraderie—a reminder that she was never alone on this journey.
As the workshop drew to a close, Aaliyah felt transformed. She logged off from Zoom with practical tools and techniques to integrate the workshop's insights into her daily life, leading to lasting change. And though her journey had just begun, she knew that she was no longer simply navigating through life—she was actively shaping her own destiny, weaving a legacy of purpose, meaning, and joy.
Personal Growth and Development: Unleashing Your Full Potential through Mindset Coaching
As we navigate through its twists and turns, we often face challenges that either propel us forward or hold us back. Personal growth is about embracing these challenges, learning from them, and evolving into the best versions of ourselves.
I don’t know about you, but 2023 has challenged my mindset more than in years. After closing my yoga studio, I fell into doubt and despair. I questioned myself and my decisions. Many clients unsubscribed from my email list and unfollowed me on social media. Contracts ended, and subscriptions were canceled. How does one say focused, positive, and moving forward? First, I turned to my mindset and business coaches. I used the resources they advised and read tons of books. Second, I continued to work on my thoughts to keep them positive and progressive. Third, I practiced gratitude and forgiveness for myself and others. Now more than ever, I want to share more with you about this amazing work. I’ve done this on myself for ten years and deep research over the last six months. I believe in a growth mindset and personal development. I know it can create happiness, wholeness, and freedom for you. Scroll to read more.
Life is a journey of continuous growth and development. As we navigate through its twists and turns, we often face challenges that either propel us forward or hold us back. Personal growth is about embracing these challenges, learning from them, and evolving into the best versions of ourselves. Many individuals are turning to mindset coaching to facilitate this process—a powerful tool that empowers them to harness their inner strengths and reach their full potential. In this blog post, we will explore the significance of mindset coaching in enhancing one's personal growth journey.
Understanding the Power of the Mindset
Our mindset shapes how we perceive the world and ourselves. It is the lens through which we interpret events, handle obstacles, and approach opportunities. People with a growth mindset tend to believe their abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. On the other hand, those with a fixed mindset view their qualities and talents as inherent traits that cannot be significantly improved.
Mindset plays a pivotal role in personal growth because it influences our behavior, resilience, and willingness to take risks. By recognizing the impact of our mindset, we gain the key to unlock our true potential.
The Role of Mindset Coaching in Personal Growth
Mindset coaching is a transformative process that helps individuals identify and reframe limiting beliefs and thought patterns. Working with a qualified mindset coach provides valuable insights and strategies to break free from self-imposed limitations. Here's how mindset coaching contributes to personal growth:
1. Self-awareness: Mindset coaching facilitates introspection, allowing individuals to become aware of their thoughts, emotions, and behavioral patterns. This heightened self-awareness serves as a foundation for change and growth.
2. Identifying limiting beliefs: Through targeted questioning and exercises, mindset coaches help clients recognize and challenge limiting beliefs that may have held them back. Whether it's self-doubt, fear of failure, or imposter syndrome, addressing these barriers opens the door to progress.
3. Cultivating a growth mindset: Mindset coaches encourage the adoption of a growth mindset by emphasizing the potential for continuous learning and improvement. This shift in perspective enables individuals to embrace challenges as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles to be avoided.
4. Goal setting and action planning: A growth-oriented mindset alone is not enough; actionable steps are crucial. Mindset coaches help clients set realistic and meaningful goals while devising concrete action plans to achieve them.
5. Building resilience: Personal growth journeys are not without setbacks. Mindset coaching equips individuals with resilience-building techniques to bounce back stronger from failures and disappointments.
6. Accountability and support: Mindset coaches act as an objective support system, holding clients accountable for their progress and providing encouragement during challenging times.
Achieving Full Potential Through Mindset Coaching
Mindset coaching is not a quick fix but a gradual process requiring commitment and consistency. By cultivating a growth mindset and honing valuable skills, individuals can experience profound transformations in various aspects of their lives:
1. Improved Relationships: Developing self-awareness and empathy allows individuals to build more meaningful and authentic connections with others.
2. Enhanced Career Success: Embracing challenges and continuous learning fosters professional development and opens doors to new opportunities.
3. Increased Confidence: Shedding self-limiting beliefs and achieving personal goals boosts self-confidence and self-esteem.
4. Overall Well-Being: Mindset coaching can reduce stress levels and increase resilience, contributing to better mental and emotional well-being.
The journey of personal growth and development is a profound and enriching experience. Mindset coaching acts as a guiding light on this path, empowering individuals to break free from limiting beliefs, embrace challenges, and unlock their full potential. By cultivating a growth mindset and leveraging the support of a mindset coach, individuals can transform their lives and create a future filled with success, fulfillment, and happiness. Remember, the power to shape your destiny lies within your mind—take the first step towards unleashing your true potential today.
This is why I am doing this work. I want you to continue to move forward and uncover the resistance and blocks that keep you stuck. Therefore, my work has pivoted to mindset coaching. I still own Daybreak Yoga LLC and have added a new arm to my business called DMR Coaching and Consulting. My work with yoga practitioners, high school students, and corporate clients gives me great joy and satisfaction. (I’m smiling as I type this.) It is extremely important to me to help individuals heal, thus enriching our world. I believe this is done through a growth mindset, or as I like to call it, Awakened Mindset.